Years ago, I found myself stranded in a vast desert. After an hour of wandering, with my thirst becoming unbearable, I came upon a beautiful oasis. Under a nearby palm tree stood a wizened man, with a wispy white beard and purple robes.

‘My boy, take this to ease your thirst,’ he spoke soothingly.

From under his robes, he drew out a chilled can of Emu Export, the beer of Western Australia.

Taking a sip, I was assaulted by a vision of paradise on Earth. I saw flying cars, a university without stress, the end of global poverty, a campus IGA that charges reasonable prices, and so much more.

‘This is beautiful,’ I exclaimed, falling to my knees in awe, ‘But how can we achieve this?’

He smiled a grandfatherly smile, and brought forth a gleaming piece of paper, upon which I read the two most beautiful words:

SPECIAL CONSIDERATION.

Hey! I’m Will (he/him), and I’ve always believed that everyone should work smart, to the best of their ability. That’s why it’s absolutely critical that you milk the living daylights out of special consideration, because if you don’t use it, you lose it. No, seriously, use everything available to you to get wherever you need to be. It’s how life works.

When I was in year 9, I came to school at 7:30 and gave up lunchtimes just so I could manage a B in Graphic Design and meet all deadlines. At the end of it all, I forgot completely everything and the teacher didn’t even remember my name. Today I can’t even make a decently formatted meme to save my life. What an absolute idiot I was. Don’t do that. Work smart, get SC, get gud.

PS golf courses are a waste of space

The Special Consideration Party prides itself on valuing every and all opportunities for special considerations at the University of Western Australia. A significant problem that is facing the SCP however is a lack of funding towards the admission and processing of all special consideration applications. As the Sporting Representative for the SCP, I will strive to source the required capital by defunding and casting down all venues for so called ‘sporting activities’. In order to ensure that the UWA campus still flourishes, these facilities will be repurposed for more valuable roles to the college. Some of these changes include paving over the UWA Aquatic Centre swimming pool to provide affordable student parking, transforming the UWA Recreation and Fitness Centre into a Deluxe Gaming Lounge (trademark pending), and digging a very big hole in the centre of UWA’s iconic James Oval.

I am running for the position of OGC with SCP. Why? Because special consideration. Man, oh man, I love special consideration BUT I hate filling out the forms. If elected, and with the help of SCP, I will lobby the University to give special consideration, no questions asked.

Additionally, I will personally put the scaffolding back up at eZone. I will personally tear down eZone, brick by brick, in protest of the oppressive rule of engineering students. I will personally remove all peanut butter-containing products not only because of my intense fear of it, but to save those whose parents couldn’t be bothered to give them a good immune system. SCP is the only party that has backed my ideas and if elected, has promised me that I can do whatever I want, whenever.

Gday I’m Matthew and I study history and would like to share an important message to my fellow students.

Reject the chains of the University tying you down with assignments. Essays and Exams are really a conspiracy run by Extra-Terrestrials that starts at the top, to take up your time and prevent you from discovering life inside Uranus.

The Vice-Chancellor would have you believe P’s get degrees but what they won’t tell you is P stands for Pints.

Don’t eat yellow snow

Don’t call your teacher mum

Don’t ask John Cena about Taiwan

Don’t support England in the Ashes

Don’t do your assignments

Vote 1 Special Consideration

You’ll often hear it said by the Vice Chancellor that the Special Consideration system is less than a hundred years old. Yet this is, in reality, blatant University propaganda, and I can assure you the University systematically suppresses the true origins of Special Consideration.

Special Consideration, in fact, first appears in Sun Tzu’s, ‘The Art Of War’. Though it’s often redacted in official publications, I can assure the UWA community that the Special Consideration Party have secured an ancient copy of text and I may now present an authentic excerpt below:

‘If you know the unit content and have special consideration, you need not fear the result of a hundred exams. If you know the unit content but not special consideration, for every exam passed, you will also suffer a failure. If you know neither the content or special consideration, you will succumb in every exam.’

- Sun Tzu

In the order of the hierarchy of forces, there is weak nuclear force, strong nuclear force, and me trying to force myself to do an assignment. Scientists have yet to figure out the last one. As a second-year student at UWA I know the challenges of navigating our university’s tyrannical policy and rules. As a radical special consideration advocate, I believe strongly in the removal of every single assignment in every single course. I believe strongly that students know best whether they deserve a degree or not. For example, as someone running for OGC at UWA, I feel as if I have a politics degree already. Vote Special Consideration Party for a student-focused council intent on giving all students special consideration until the heat death of the universe.

You’ll often hear it said by the Vice Chancellor that the Special Consideration system is less than a hundred years old. Yet this is, in reality, blatant University propaganda, and I can assure you the University systematically suppresses the true origins of Special Consideration.

Special Consideration, in fact, first appears in Sun Tzu’s, ‘The Art Of War’. Though it’s often redacted in official publications, I can assure the UWA community that the Special Consideration Party have secured an ancient copy of text and I may now present an authentic excerpt below:

‘If you know the unit content and have special consideration, you need not fear the result of a hundred exams. If you know the unit content but not special consideration, for every exam passed, you will also suffer a failure. If you know neither the content or special consideration, you will succumb in every exam.’

- Sun Tzu